Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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