She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
