omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize