youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
I have tasted many bathrooms
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
