Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
not ubering you a puppy
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
