i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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