oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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