Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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