My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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