Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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