So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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