he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
