New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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