im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
