I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
Randomize
