ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
