summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
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she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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