She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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