Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
