you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
