There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
