before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
