so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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