Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
Randomize
