Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
