well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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