Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
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