That's intense
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Randomize
