i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Randomize
