I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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