goodnight i made you a song goodbye
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
