omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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