Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
she told me i tasted like america
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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