glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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