All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
this boner is exhausting
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
