carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
