What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
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At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize