Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
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