I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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