I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
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