According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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