I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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