I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
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