That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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