You don't have asthma, your pregnant
even my farts smell like vagina
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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