i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Randomize
