there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
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