drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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