i wish peter jackson would direct porn
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
