You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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