I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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