just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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