Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
