i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
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