Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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