Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
