I cockslap morals
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
